As you know, I am a captain of industry and a person of great distinction. I am a gentleman of sophisticated leisure, impeccable breeding and unnerving intensity. Like all the best people, I prefer google and shun the rabble who frequent AOL.

A recent study in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology (I pay someone to read it for me) confirms my preferences. According to the report, Over half the high-income parents in their study used Google to search on the 'net,  while only 8 percent of low-income parents did—they preferred AOL search.

To a man of my stature, the results of this study are meaningless, as I don't actually own a computer at all, and these "search engines" are way too common for me to use.  Right now my man-servant Coheed is transcribing my thoughts with a quill pen, and he tells me they will be distributed on some kind of collection of wires or tubes by flocks of colorful birds. Right into your home!

When you're back from the carnival or your job at the day-care center, the police will force you to read them. So gather around your electro-vox machine and search the AOL's for my words. Be quick, peasant!

arstechnica:"Let them use AOL": upper-class searchers prefer Google